Off the back of a lorry

“He told me it was curry powder.”

“And it isn’t?”

“Doesn’t smell like it.”

“Let’s have a look… you’re right, and it’s rather pale. Have you tried adding water to it?”

“Good idea.”

“You’ve bought a lot of it. What if you can’t use it?”

“I could, when I know what it is. Besides, it was cheap.”

“Cheap because he probably doesn’t know what it is. Saffron, I reckon.”

“Saffron. What’s that?”

“Only about 100 times the price.”


“For once that boyfriend of yours has done you a favour.”

“He’s not that bad.”

“Everything’s off the back of the lorry with Laurie.”

“Ha. I think I’d rather have had curry powder.”


“At least I’d have known what to do with it.”

“Google it… or sell it on.”

“I wouldn’t know…”

“eBay it.”

“eBay it? But it’s food, isn’t it?”

“It is but… it’s got a date stamp, well in date, just missing the label. Take a photo and…”

“They do say people will buy anything.”

“And believe anything. What did Laurie tell about where he got it?”

“Friend’s Indian restaurant. Wrong delivery, or something.”

“They’d have sent it back, especially saffron. Or kept it and not said anything.”

“Or sold it and not said anything.”

“Then they’re as bad as he is.”

“He’s not bad.”

“He’s just drawn that way.”


“Jessica Rabbit. Who framed… film, late 80s, before your time.”

“Uh, OK.”

“So what are you going to do with it?”

“I’d like to cook with it. Make Laurie something nice.”

“You could make a third world food mountain with all that lot.”



“That’s a good idea.”

“What? Cooking a food mountain? Even Lard-arse Laurie doesn’t eat that much.”

“Don’t like him much do you?”

“Can you tell, sis? So what’s your grand plan?”

“Look for a local charity that can use it, maybe do an event with it, or something.”

“Like try to break a record.”


“Serena Goodman, you’re all heart.”


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